Chapter 88 A Bittersweet Experience

basically won't let others help me reference anything on this."Chi Jingyuan puckered his lips and shook his head, directly indicating that he didn't want to participate."Oh, it's you! I'm different,...Jennie has had a really tough time lately.

Last month, the trainee's end-of-month assessment went quite well. While she wasn't at the top, her score was still among the best.

Her recent monthly performance rankings have been quite similar, indicating that her skills have entered a period of stability.

After announcing the grades, the teacher also specifically praised her, with an expression of great appreciation.

The wording is nothing more than "performing well," "making great progress," and "great potential for debuting," which comes around every so often.

Peizhuhyun is very grateful for the praise and encouragement from her teacher, but she hopes to hear something else.

She really hopes that her teacher would say something like, "The company recently has a new girl group project," or, "The company has already started selecting members for the new girl group."

Even if she wasn't sure if she was one of them, the fact that she needed to work harder to fight for a spot meant everything to her. She would be incredibly happy and excited, unable to sleep at night.

Because she no longer had to practice day after day with such hopeless prospects, waiting for something better.

Even if it wasn't news about her debut as a girl group member, but an announcement about other arrangements for her, such as advertising modeling or going solo, that would be fine too.

Even if you directly tell her that she's not talented enough, or that due to her age the company might not debut her, it's okay.

Although it will be very sad and painful, at least I won't have to just go through the motions at work aimlessly anymore.

Then, Bae Suzy could consider other directions, such as giving up on being an artist and pursuing a different path, or leaving ** Entertainment to join another agency for opportunities to debut.

Over the years, because of her appearance, she often receives approaches from talent scouts who invite her to audition for other agencies. They are always very enthusiastic.

She turned them all down, though. She still hopes to debut in **, not only because it's the company she's been with all along, but also because it's one of the biggest agencies on the peninsula.

But she never heard what she wanted to hear, only constant praise and empty reassurances, but no actual action.

Pei Zhuxuan was very aware that she was different from some other young and energetic female trainees. She was a rare older trainee who didn't have the resources to gradually make her way up like others.

She was born in 1991, joined ** company in 2009, and according to the algorithm of the peninsula, she is already 23 years old this year 2012.

Those practicing around her were mostly several years younger. Recently, the new trainees who joined the company were born in 1998, 1999, and even some from the year 2000. When she was with them, Bae Joo-hyun only felt incredibly conspicuous and out of place.

Female idol groups typically debut around the ages of 17 or 18. A bit later, in their early twenties, is about the limit. It's not suitable to debut any older than that.

Because girl groups also have their peak popularity after debuting, it's best to attract fans. The most popular idols are usually the youngest ones who just debuted. In recent years, many male fans on the peninsula only like energetic young idols. Many idols find that their fan base dwindles easily when they get older, and it becomes much harder for groups to continue developing.

Like her contemporary Seo Joo-hyun, who was also born in 1991 and has been debuting with Girls' Generation for over five years, she is still training to be an idol.

When being called "senior" or "eonni" by those little girls, Pei Zhuxuan didn't feel any sense of respect. Instead, she felt a wave of anxiety and sadness washing over her.

She can never forget, when she and the new trainees introduced themselves to each other, the surprise on their faces after learning her birth year. Even though they quickly managed their expressions and greeted her politely, the genuine astonishment that had just flashed in their eyes was like a heavy hammer pounding in her heart.

Besides her looks, because of her appearance, she was highly valued by the company and often praised.

This scene made those training alongside her feel a little uncomfortable. Many people felt that her dancing and singing weren't particularly impressive, she was just relying on her looks to get by in the company. At this age, she was clinging on and competing with younger people for opportunities.

They are all already people of the previous generation, with wrinkles on their faces, and they are still trainees in the company, not ashamed at all.

"Who says that she's good-looking and gets the company's attention These two years, it seems like the company hasn't had any girl group plans. Wouldn't she be twenty-six or seven by the time she debuts Creating the biggest idol history for the Peninsula... Thinking about it is really interesting..."

This was two ordinary practice trainees who were polite and well-mannered, laughing while chatting. Seulgi heard this from the window.

She didn't want to argue with people, nor was she bothered with lecturing them as someone senior. She also had no idea how many people viewed her that way.

She just felt a heavy pain in her heart, with a lump of anger stuck in her chest that she couldn't get out. She also forced back her tears, refusing to let them fall. She wasn't someone who openly displayed her emotions in front of others; occasionally crying privately was enough for her to vent her feelings.

My mood has been getting worse these days. I recently saw that relationship of the EXO parachuter again, and comparing herself to her made me feel even more sad.

Recently, my body has also been feeling unwell. I have a pretty bad heatstroke.

...and the ever-present pressure of age....

It feels like all the bad things are happening at once.

Pei Zhuxuan wanted to find someone to confide in, but after calling her mother and hearing her concerned voice, she couldn't bring herself to say anything.

She wanted to find a close friend to talk to and relieve her emotions, but she couldn't find the right person.

She wasn't a sociable person by nature, she was quiet and reserved in her daily life. After working at the company for several years, she hadn't made many friends.

I feel rather pitiful, Pei Zhuxuan couldn't help but smile wryly in her heart.

Tonight, the emotions she had been suppressing all day reached a breaking point. After her evening practice, she didn't want to go back to the dormitory. Instead, she ran to the Linjiang Promenade by herself, blowing in the cold wind and gazing at the river view.

It's already November now, and the weather has gotten much colder. In Seoul, daytime temperatures are around 10 degrees Celsius, and it gets freezing at night.

A gust of cold wind kept blowing, and even wearing a warm coat couldn't stop the bone-chilling coldness. The bright view of the river across didn't improve Pei Zhuhyun's mood, but instead, it became even lower because of the desolate surroundings.

She leaned on the railing, her eyes beginning to redden, wanting to have a good cry right here.

Just then, footsteps sounded and stopped beside her.

Pei Zhuhyun looked over with red-rimmed eyes.

It turned out to be that person whose name I had been hearing frequently lately, but someone I greatly disliked.

Chi Jingyuan.

First published on Taiwan Novels Network the conclusion of the main setlist. The concert ended with "hope," a closing song performed by all members.This iconic h.o.t. classic track has become a staple for S-family concerts, a moment that wi...